Welcome back!

With all that has been going on, I am worn down.

If there was a multivitamin that could give me the energy, stop the congestion in my chest, and give me back feeling in my face - I WOULD TAKE IT, in a heart beat.

At times, I feel like I am stuck in a waiting game, waiting for mom to die. Other times, I feel almost like a vulture. She is at peace with the thought of leaving, I am not sure that I am yet.

At least at the hospice, she is taken care of and does not feel any pain from her condition. Time, right now, seems to be the main enemy.

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The breach in the family has been mended.

My husband went into talk to his brother, I stayed out in the van. They talked and the misunderstanding was talked about and things were mended.

At this time, knowing the grief to come (it has been edging in anyway), it is very important that there be no bad thoughts or feelings between all family members.

My husband and his brother were raised together and each is their own person with their own ways. I am very glad that things have been straightened out. Thank God for His mercy.

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With all of the stuff happening, right now I am a mess.

At least I do not need to use a fat burner. The things going on have taken away some of my appetite. That should help with weight loss, but I am not so sure that I will lose any.

The times when I do get hungry, I find myself wanting to eat a lot to make up for the times that I don’t eat a lot. Not having a lot in the fridge does help at the same time. We have food, just not a lot of junk food. :/

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Right now I am glad that I do not have to apply for any personal loans. My brain is not functioning the way that it should since I am having trouble concentrating.

Driving can also be a nightmare. My left eye has taken to wandering and i have to concentrate extra hard to keep it in proper alignment. I have tried to get my husband to drive, but he has been taking Vicaden for some seriour pain that he has right now.

It sounds as if we are a fine mess. That’s life.

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When I was younger, I used to dream about having babies. I would think of all the baby keepsakes, clothes (some of them are real cute), pictures.

Of course since then I have grown up and realize that sometimes things do not happen the way that we would think they should.

I do have a loving husband. We have a place to sleep, food to eat, pets that love us, transportation. We are doing okay so far.

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All through this mess we have been going through, my husband did not run.

I am surprised that he did not try to find out how to boost testosterone, in order to handle the mama grizzly that he found himself married to.

I did try to keep it down, but there were sometimes that I just wanted to growl, or howl. I was not really sure.

So, I kept checking my blood sugar levels, injecting insulin and calling the pharmacy checking if the pills had come in yet.

Well, it is finally over. The pills came in, I have taken my medicine, my temper has eased, the mama grizzly has gone back into hibernation.

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Have you heard the one where a friend asks another…how bad was it?

Well, it was sooo bad that I could have gnawed up a cypress tree all by myself. I know that this type of tree can withstand lots of moisture, they do not rot easily, and seem to last forever.

I guess it is saying a lot to imagine that i was irritated enough to act the hyper beaver, or wood chipper. Chewing gum would not have helped at all. I did spend of lot of time sleeping. At least that way my husband could have some peace away from the grumpy woman that I had become.

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Have you ever heard of the old saying “if looks could kill”? There are many various meanings to that phrase. Helen of Troy had looks that men used as an excuse to kill hundreds, if not thousands “The face that launched a thousand ships”. There used to be an old saying about someone having the “evil eye” that made people afraid of being killed by a look.

Well people, cats have known about dirty looks for a long time. They are experts at the ‘dirty look’. One example was what happened a little while ago. One of our cats decided she needed the litter pan. I happened to see since I was on the ‘throne’ and stuck in one place for a while. As she positioned herself, my husband passed by and passed gas. The timing was superb in that respect. Her ears went flat, her eyes went half closed, and when she got out, she gave him a DIRTY LOOK. I wonder if she was thinking that she would be blamed for what he did? (snicker)

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Right now, mom is on a special program where she has help for her house keeping and other stuff. That is wonderful, for she is not as strong as she used to be.

She also has a nurse come in and check up on her with her blood pressure and her blood sugar. This medical assistance program she is on is through the state and it has turned out to be a blessing. Without this extra help, both my husband and myself would be worried all of the time about he fragile condition and how she would need help for every day things. I hadn’t realized just how much needs to happen when someone gets older.

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I have a problem that some other ladies have. I have hair on my face that I do not want.

I realize that testosterone cream would not help. It would just make things worse. As it is, I have to pluck it out a lot, or I would look as if I had side burns. EYUK !

I realize that I am not the only one who has to deal with some issues here. I do not mind if my husband is fuzzy; but, I do not think he wants me fuzzy at the same time.

I do not think that Cinderella had this problem.

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